Tag: King David

No Longer Feeling Trapped – Breaking the Silence on Mental Illness

Last week, I went for sushi with a friend.

As we were eating, I became aware of the 75+ gallon fish tank that was a focal point of the dining room. What fascinated me about this tank was not only were there a few large gold fish swimming inside, but that the entire tank was dominated by one huge fish. It appeared that this fish was much too large for the tank. I observed the fish swish it’s tale once or twice, immediately arrive at the end of the tank and then maneuver to turn around and begin this process again – over and over and over.

Fish in TankNow, I’m no fish/fish-tank expert, but it seems to me that this fish needed a different size tank for its home. Its current tank was too small and it seemed to be trapped, constrained by the walls of this inappropriately sized tank. I actually felt sorry for this poor fish (I know…it doesn’t make sense: I was eating fish as I watched this).

There are times in our lives, when we too, feel trapped or constrained by the circumstances of our lives. Sometimes, we might be suffering from mental health issues, sometimes from physical issues, sometimes from circumstances that we feel are beyond our control. We feel boxed in like this fish – we can’t seem to budge, we can’t make headway, we think we have nowhere to go.

We are often loathe to share our feelings because we don’t want to burden others, or we think we’re the only ones to experience this, or we think we should be able to “snap out of it” on our own, or we think there’s a stigma attached to these type of feelings.

Everyone around us seems so…happy, so content. Their world seems so much larger than ours. The rest of the world seems so wonderful and perfect. So why are we so miserable?

Sometimes, we don’t even realize we’re feeling like this. It’s our friends, family and those around us who realize that something’s wrong. How do we approach a loved one when we are concerned for their well-being? How do we let someone “in” if they express concern for our health, whether it’s our physical health or mental health?

As a community, we need to begin talking about mental health issues and increasing mental health awareness.  Let’s keep in mind a few things about mental health issues:

  • About 1 in every 4 people in the US will experience some type of mental health issue during their lifetime.
  • Mental illness is a real illness, the same as every other kind of illness. It is not “all in someone’s head”.
  • Mental illness comes in many different forms – just as other illnesses come in all forms. And there are many different types of treatments.
  • Just as more research is needed to discover new treatments for cancer treatment, the same is true for mental illnesses.
  • The more we talk about mental health issues, the more educated we become.

As a Jewish community, we too, need to become more pro-active about mental health education. We need to encourage conversations, outreach and advocacy about this issue.

We’ve had no problems addressing the issues of cancer, diabetes, ALS, weight-loss. Now it’s time to bring mental health issues out of the darkness and into the light. For too long, many people with mental health issues feel like they live under a cloud of anguish and despair. Their families and friends feel distraught and worried. To whom can they turn for solace, comfort, support, community, hope and healing?

As long as people have roamed the earth, illness has existed. Both physical illness and mental health illness. We see mental illness in the Hebrew Bible going all the way back to King Saul. David used to sooth Saul when he was exceedingly agitated by playing his harp. Where can we find what soothes us now, as we cope with our own struggles and those around us?

Every one of us knows someone affected by mental illness: it could be a loved one, a friend, a co-worker, an acquaintance or ourselves. And mental illness has many forms – just as physical illness does. It can be subtle or wildly out-of-control; it can be easily managed or difficult and painful. We need to understand what we can do so that everyone in our embrace feels nurtured and strengthened, so that everyone knows that they feel safe, so that everyone knows that they do not have to feel “trapped”.

Our Jewish tradition teaches us that we are all created “b’tzelem Elohim” – in the image of God. It is up to us to educate ourselves so that we can remove the stigma, and treat everyone with dignity, respect and honor in that “image of God” that each and every one of us so deserves. And so that those who are ill no longer feel they have to remain under the cloud of silence and secrecy about their suffering.

May we open our ears so that we hear the pain in the voice of those who are mentally ill. May we open our eyes so that we see what is going on in front of us and truly see the suffering in the eyes of another. May we open our hands to act on what we see and offer help to those in need. May we open our mouths to respond to the emotional pain in those who suffer, and may we offer healing words of love and comfort. (adapted from Rabbi James L. Simon)

If you feel burdened or trapped or feel that you need to talk to someone (or if you have a loved one in this situation) please know that you can always do the following:

  • call your physician
  • call your rabbi, priest, minister, clergy person
  • go straight to the emergency room if you feel that you might harm yourself or someone around you.

For some excellent Jewish resources on Mental Health issues, please click on the following links:

The Reform Movement’s Religious Action Center Mental Health Page

A book for families dealing with mental health issues: Caring for the Soul, R’fu’at Ha’nefesh

A terrific article on mental health issues and the Jewish community: From Darkness to Light: by Rabbi Marci N. Bellows (The Jewish Week. 4/20/12)

Shiru L’Adonai Shir Chadash – Sing Unto the Eternal A New Song

“Music makes pictures and often tells stories, all of it magic, all of it true.” (John Denver)

Music has been an integral part of my life since I was very young. My paternal grandmother was a concert pianist. She met my grandfather, who was a cellist, when they were both playing in the same quartet.

My father inherited his parents’ love of music and talent. Like his father, he too played the cello. And he also had perfect pitch. While we were young, my dad would sing to us on car rides, teaching us all of Tom Leher’s songs that he learned as a camp counselor (not always appropriate for young children, e.g. – “The Old Dope Peddler”). He introduced us to Alan Sherman’s “Peter and the Commissar” with Arthur Fiedler and the Boston Pops. He was always singing.

Album cover, Allan Sherman, Arthur Fiedler & the Boston Pops: Peter and the Commissar
Album cover – Allan Sherman, Arthur Fiedler & the Boston Pops: Peter and the Commissar

My mother played first violin in the Rhode Island Youth Symphony Orchestra while she was in High School. She too was multi-talented. She played piano, accordion, recorder, and a few other instruments. She was a classical music aficionado. And she taught music at our Hebrew Day school.

I was thrilled when I attended Shabbat services at my new congregation this past July and saw that everyone – of all ages – took rhythm instruments to enhance the musical experience of the service.

Music has played an important role in our Jewish worship experience since biblical times. From the portable mishkan – Tabernacle (or sanctuary) in the wilderness to the Temple in Jerusalem, music was used as a way to praise and glorify God.

King David made sure that the musicians and choirs were paid salaries, furnished with homes and well taken care of. He understood that a world without music was a world without color, a world without joy, a world without warmth and a world without spirit.

Psalm 150, verses 3-6 states:

Praise the Eternal with blasts of the shofar. Praise the Eternal with harp and lyre. Praise the Eternal with timbral and dance. Praise the Eternal with lute and pipe. Praise the Eternal resounding with cymbals. Praise the Eternal with loud crashing cymbals.

 My friend Mattan Klein has made it his life’s work to “praise the Eternal” with all different types of music. His father, Dr. Rabbi Michael Klein, z”l, was the Dean of Hebrew Union College-Jewish Institute of Religion, Jerusalem campus while I was a first year rabbinic student.

While his father immersed himself in the ancient texts of our people, Mattan’s entire life is dedicated to bringing those texts to life through the beauty of music. He is the Ensemble Instructor at a high school for the arts in Israel, he is the Band Leader for three separate groups: 4 Flute Flight, Seeds of Sun and Mattan Klein Quintet. Like King David, Mattan plays music in both the secular and religious arenas. He played a beautiful flute tribute at Ariel Sharon’s funeral last year.

Perhaps what I find most inspirational about his work, is how he influences and inspires others, especially the next generation. Two years ago, his then-eight-year-old daughter Avigail was at one of her father’s performances and drew the following picture afterward:

Avigail Klein's view of her father's band "Seeds of Sun" performing
Avigail Klein’s view of her father’s band “Seeds of Sun” performing

Avigail placed herself playing flute with the band in the bottom right-hand corner. This was her dream: to play flute in her father’s band, surrounded by beautiful music! She just started taking flute lessons a few weeks ago. What she envisioned two years ago can soon be sustained and fulfilled.

To me, Abigail’s musical notes surrounding each and every musician not only symbolize the music they are playing. They symbolize an important lesson for each of us: when each of us joins together to “play our own instrument” in concert with others, we create a beautiful symphony. When we join our voices together, no matter if we are playing actual music, working together on behalf of social justice or some other common goal, we become bathed in music and beauty. It doesn’t matter what instrument we play, what note we sing, or even if we just listen.

Each of us has a song to sing. Each of us has the ability to hear the song of others around us. Shiru l’Adonai shir chadash – sing unto the Eternal a new song. Shiru l’Adonai kol ha-aretz – sing unto the Eternal all the earth. (Psalm 96:1).

(A video sample of Mattan Klein playing some of his beautiful music):